Drink this, you cheap fuck: Jam Jar

jam-jar

During Hurricane Sandy, I drank Jam Jar in the dark to keep myself from going “The Shining” on my friends — it was almost successful!

This South African wine tastes like your best childhood birthday memories. Its blackberry, raspberry jelly notes are the closest you’ll get to reliving your most unencumbered years.

Even if you’re not in love with fruity wines, this adult Juicy Juice will definitely change your mind. It pairs well with everything, from a 2am dollar slice to a homemade arrabbiata sauce.

I love Jam Jar not only because it prevented me from going Tom Hanks in “Castaway,” but because it’s a wine that knows exactly what it is. It doesn’t pretend to be fancy, esoteric, or even good (though it totally is). It’s sweet, straightforward, and guaranteed to do its job, i.e. get you seriously drunk.

No, seriously. You’re going to forget this is 13% ABV.

The best part? It runs from $7 to $10, making it a perfect last-minute gift or party offering. You can buy it on Amazon, Wine.com, or IRL using Jam Jar’s store locator.

Be sure to cop some Pedialyte, because you’re definitely going to get a hangover from this.

 

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